Okay, I’ve made a decision. I keep whining about how everything is going. How I sometimes don’t like work, how I’m unmotivated to write right now, how I don’t know what to do with my blog, how I gained 5 pounds at Thanksgiving and haven’t lost it yet, blah blah blah. I keep waiting to feel better or be inspired or something, and I’m finally figuring out that that’s a bad thing to wait for.
You can’t make yourself be motivated. You can’t make yourself have energy. You can try, but for me, at least, it doesn’t work. So here’s my new plan. I need to quit whining, and just start a routine. I’m upset about writing, so I just need to write. I’m upset about my weight, so I just need to exercise. Those two things will make me happier, and will solve most of the problems that are making me dreary, even if they don’t make things perfect.
I have an issue sticking with things unless I have a specific plan. I’ve already told you about my problems with hobbies. So to counteract my tendency to forget about things or let them fall by the wayside, I’ve put writing and walking into my schedule. I have a weekly schedule written out, with all of my students and the times they come, and now all of the days I want to write or walk, and for how long.
1.5 hours of walking 4 days a week, and 2 hours of writing 4-5 days a week. That’s doable, right? Unless I’m completely lazy, I should be able to stick to that. It’s not exactly a full-time commitment. And I like writing and walking, so it should be easy to make myself do it. As long as I think of it as something I have to do whether I want to or not. If I’m scheduled to walk on Thursday, I walk even if I have to drag my feet the entire way. If I’m scheduled to write, I do it even if it’s crap. I’m not including my blog in my writing requirement. Those 2 hours 4-5 days a week are strictly for fiction. I can do the blog stuff whenever. Just the feeling of not wanting to quit doing something if people would know I was quitting is enough to make me keep up with this thing. This is basically public. If I blow it off, you know.
But I could tell my husband I walked when I didn’t. I’m a bad liar, and I’d probably confess that I really didn’t less than five minutes later, but the point is, I could get away with not doing it. But I don’t want to do that. That’s what I always do, and that’s why I don’t write enough when I’m in a slump and why I still haven’t lost those 5 pounds that I gained after graduate school. Or those 5 that I gained after Thanksgiving…
I guess that’s why I’m posting this. Because if I write it down and post it, there’s at least a tiny bit of accountability. I feel like I should do it so I don’t look like an idiot. So, that’s my goal. Write, walk, feel better. I suppose I should throw practicing my violin into my routine since I never do enough of that, but…. I don’t know. Baby steps.