Quit

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I am trying to figure out what to do for a second shift at the zoo. Education or more animal stuff?

I’m already doing stuff with animals on my afternoon shift, but I may want to do more. The longer I keep teaching violin, the more I think that maybe teaching just isn’t for me.

I like teaching sometimes, but I dislike it more often. Every time I go to the studio at the beginning of each day, I have to say to myself “Only 3 more years, only 3 more years.” Then I’ll have another degree and be qualified to apply for jobs in my new field. I just have to keep teaching until then because it’s my best option for good money without having to work full-time while I’m in school and volunteering places.

If I have to use that to motivate myself every time I teach, do I really want to teach more?

I have this fantasy of every aspect of my work life being a little different than it is now in 4 years. Instead of playing in symphonies, I’ll be playing in a quartet. Instead of teaching, I’ll be working in zoology somewhere. I guess I’ve already taken the first step, cutting back on orchestras.

I think I’m going to quit. I really think I want to. Just waiting to see if I completely change my mind once I get my contract for next season. Maybe I’ll see it and think, “Whoa, I don’t want to quit, what am I doing?”

I’m not anticipating that. But just in case… better to wait.

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