I’ve been wondering for a few days if there’s any point in writing a post right now. I have nothing to say. I have an almost 4-week-old baby. My entire life the last month has been breastfeeding in bed, watching TV in bed, sleeping in bed, hanging out with the baby in bed, eating, and going to doctors appointments.
But as soon as I started writing this post, I realized I have more to say than I thought. I made a little progress on my story this week. Went from page 407 to page 414. Not amazing, but I did something, and I’m planning to do more today.
I got a Moby wrap a few days ago, which is like a life saver. It’s a giant piece of fabric that wraps around my body and holds the baby in place. I can’t believe I was just carrying my baby around in my arms everywhere for three and a half weeks. What was I thinking?
My husband and I are seriously considering moving again. We like Denver. We came here thinking it would be a nice change and that it would be like a fresh start kind of, but we’d still be able to keep our work up north, and that we have a lot of family here and moving here would make everything sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.
Yeah. We want to move out of state. We’ve been talking about it for about three years, but we’ve never pulled the trigger. It always seemed too hard. Now we feel like if we stay here we’re just going to get stuck in a rut. Moving to a new town didn’t work, so we need a new state. Our first choices for places to go have always been Las Vegas or Alaska. Because they’re so similar.
Alaska has always been my pipe dream, but my husband’s entire family lives in Las Vegas and it’s a good place to go for both of our jobs. How many shows are there on the Strip that need violinists? A boatload. If I can get back into playing shape and actually prepare a decent audition, I might be able to get a good amount of work out there.
I feel comfortable with Vegas because I know it well. My mom’s parents used to live there, so we visited at least twice a year from the time I was 5 to the time I was 19 and they moved back to Washington state, where they were from.
I also lived there once, for 9 months when I was 15. I loved it there. It was one of the happiest times of my life. Yes, I was 15 and homeschooled and my only real responsibility was practicing my violin and going to orchestra rehearsals, but I loved everything about being there.
I realize that it’s hot there, and it’s no secret that I am not a fan of heat. But it’s only hot for a few months, and the winter months are my favorite kind of weather, 40s and 50s. And it’s hot here, too, in the summer. Don’t listen to any BS that anyone says about Denver always being cold. It’s HOT in the summer. 95 or 100 degrees at 5200 feet is unbearable. 115 degrees at 2000 feet honestly doesn’t feel much worse. More like being in an oven than being blasted by an open flame.
There are a lot of things to consider, but we’re really serious about moving if it all works out. It would be good for me, because I may not bother getting back into playing if we stay here. I don’t want to play in symphonies right now, and that’s really my only option here. There’s a lot more going on out there. Plus, I’ve lived in Colorado for 28 years. I love it here, and I always have and always will, but… 28 years. That’s a long time in one place. Long enough, maybe.
Will I miss the mountains I love so much? Yes and no. I’ll miss these mountains, but there are some awesome mountains out there, too. Will I miss snow? I think I might enjoy seeing it when I visit cold places, but now that I’m shipping a baby around everywhere, I don’t think I’ll miss it day to day. It’s just kind of a hassle. Will I miss my family and friends? Yes. So much. And that’s the one hang up I have about moving. There are so many people here that I don’t want to leave.
But we have to do what’s best for our family, and being in Denver is not it. I’ve actually been wanting to move back up north rather than stay here, but my husband doesn’t want to go backwards. I don’t know why I feel like this, because I do like it here. It just doesn’t feel right. To either of us.
At least we’re on the same page. Now things just need to work out to make it happen.