Wow, to say I haven’t posted recently is an understatement. Last time was March 24, almost a full month! I have to admit, having the baby is totally eating all of my time and distracting me from everything else. But I don’t mind at all, like I always thought I would before deciding to have kids.
He’s a fun little guy. He’s into smiling and drooling now. He laughs when I change his diapers like it’s the most exciting thing in the world. He’s almost three months, so he’s started getting distracted while he eats. He’ll be chowing down like a pig, then suddenly look up at nothing and stare at it for a while with his little mouth hanging open, then go back to eating like nothing happened. He’s a pretty funny baby. I’m sure all babies do that, but mine is just funnier and cuter because he’s mine 🙂
My goal of getting through 50 pages a month has not been going great. I got through about 35 in March, and so far in April… 7. I’m optimistic though, because the last time I wrote, a couple days ago, I deleted an entire chapter. Some of that stuff needs to be reincorporated into a later chapter, but some of it doesn’t. My total page count is now 662, which means I have just under 200 pages to go.
Last time I also spent an hour reading through those last 200 pages. It was encouraging because there’s a lot I can cut, but it was also scary because this is the part of the book that really needs the most rewriting. Half of what’s left pretty much needs to be fully rewritten. I may have to revise my goal of being finished with the rewrite by the end of July, and say instead that I have to be finished with the rewrite of parts 2 and 3 by the end of July. That cuts it from 200 to 120 pages. More manageable, and it makes sense in my head since part 4 is a new idea. I can just do it all at once, the rewriting and the new writing.
I’m getting really excited about finishing the rewrite and getting back into writing new material. I have part 4 planned out in my head and I have a few notes, but writing it out is a completely different experience. The closer I get to it, the more I can feel my creative juices flowing, or whatever happens with my creative juices. It makes doing the rewrite more fun, because I have what needs to happen in part 4 in my mind to keep me going.
I feel like over the last year I’ve been forcing myself to keep writing, but I wasn’t really into it even though I wanted to do it. It was more like I wanted to do it so I wouldn’t lose it. Now I want to do it because I want to do it. I want to create. I want to put down the conclusion that has been forming in my head for the last three years. I want to finish this thing! It feels closer and more attainable than it ever has.
I’m not sure I’ve ever reached one of my writing goals, but I think I can reach this one. Finish my first draft of this behemoth by the end of 2015. If I can do that, my next goal will be to clean it up and be ready to either try the self publishing route or look for an agent after another year. In that time, of course, I’ll be having a couple people read through it to give comments.
The idea of trying to publish this thing is terrifying, but exciting. There’s also a little, tiny part of me that is eager to finish this so I can move on to something else. There are so many stories I want to write. I can’t get hung up on one forever.